Welcome! This Blog is run by two amazing lady runners who don't fit into a box.

I am a runner who does NOT fit into the stereotypical body type of a runner. I have hips, a bum, thighs, and breasts. I jiggle all over the place no matter how much spandex I put on, and my gut usually hangs over my shorts. I work in the mental health field, and have a passion for inciting outrage regarding the media's portrayal of women, their bodies, and their abilities. I am a beautiful woman who sometimes struggles to remember it. I am a runner who sometimes feels more like a slogger.


I have the spirit of a runner inside me that just won't let me quit- no matter how much I sometimes would like to! Physically, I certainly have many of the things Chrys mentions up there- hips, thighs, bum, boobs, tummy, all of it- and Lord knows all of it likes to jiggle around while I do just about anything, especially running! I am passionate about body image, the Health at Every Size & Size Acceptance movements, and love finding inspiration in as many places as possible. Working as a therapist, one of my personal goals is to live as in-line with my values as I possibly can- this blog is one of the ways I figure all that out.

Join us on out adventures in running and ramblings on Body Image.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Shame at the Doctor

Oh dear... is it possible that it's been over a year since either of us posted on this site?  DEAR ME!  Well... new year, new resolve to post!

I have been thinking about posting here for a while, but keep putting it off for various reasons.  Today, however, I am brought to post out of frustration.  I had an experience for the first time in my life today that I know that many women have had.  I have gained some weight pretty quickly over the last few months, which I am aware of, as I am many of the reasons for it.  I have, in fact, already been addressing many of these things because what is behind the weight gain have been things that do not promote a healthy life in general (High stress, not making time to move around enough after starting a new sedentary job, and not making sure to do the things that will help me eat healthily despite my new job - with significant travel between three offices, none of which have a fridge/microwave there has been lots of fast food in my life.)  Did my doctor ask about what I was doing to fight these things?  No.  Did my doctor help me find resources that might help me towards a healthy lifestyle? No.  My doctor told me I should lose weight, and printed out an 1800 Cal Diet for me designed for people with Diabetes (which I do not have.)  She seemed to chalk everything I have been experiencing, including a month of headaches (ugh!) up to weight gain.  Is my Asthma worse?  Is my GERD worse?  Did I know that weight gain can exacerbate joint and muscle pain (despite the fact that my knee pain was WAY worse when I weighed 40 lbs less than I do now)?  You know, weight gain can cause hormonal changes that can cause headaches.  I should really exercise every day and eat an 1800 Cal diet (despite the fact that I know that is not healthy for me – she didn’t ask anything about my dieting history – If she had, she would know that I should not be on a diet that low in Cals.)

What frustrated me MOST today is that I didn’t stand up for myself.  I am an educated woman who knows a lot about eating disorders, health, and exercise.  I have run two half marathons.  I have already noticed my weight gain and am trying to make positive changes in my life (i.e. I finally started running again – I am on week 3 of Couch to 5k right now.)    I am fully aware that I am not my weight.  I understand that my labs are all fine (as they always have been) despite gaining some weight. Even in the moment, before I had the lab results, I had a darned good idea that they would be.  Yet I felt shamed and disempowered.  The anger and frustration didn’t come until I had left the office.  I can only imagine the pain and disempowerment that others have faced in circumstances such as this.  It is a shame that the “war on obesity” has caused even our doctors to reduce people to a number and to reduce any medical complaints to being due to one single thing.
Now... I will note that the doctor that I saw today was NOT my primary care provider. It was another doctor at the practice.  I would like to think that if it were my primary care provider, who I have built a bit of a relationship with (though, honestly, not much), that I may have been more likely to speak up.  But I can't for sure say that I would have.  Alas.  Maybe next time?

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